Well, I am very pleased to report improvements on both sides. I am making a massive effort to be less stressed, and Gremlin is eating a bit more happily. She still wants to be doing it herself but she is tolerating some spoon feeding by me and I am letting her play with the spoon more with her protein free stuff. It is a happy compromise. She is already getting more proficient with the spoon:
Another useful tip- Get a 5 year old friend to help. Lilmin came for tea and wanted to help- Gremlin loved it and ate far better for her than for me!
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